Frayed Nerves

For those of you who are just beginning this wonderful process, here we can narrow down the symptoms and ask questions like "am I starting perimenopause?"

Frayed Nerves

Postby KATCSR » Sat Jul 26, 2008 11:06 am

I have noticed that a few days before my period starts now that my nerves are frayed.. I am so nervous and on edge it is
nuts!!! When I am sitting at the table I am shaking my leg--bouncing my leg up and down. I worry/agonize about every little
stinking thing you can imagine. It is very hard to relax.. I hate this.. Does anyone else feel this way?? Thank you for your time..
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby danmia » Sun Jul 27, 2008 3:01 pm

Absolutely, every single day. I too do the leg jog thing, it's somehow comforting. I have extreme anxiety about anything and everything. Would you believe how silly this is, when I log onto my work site, which is live and my boss is there etc. I go into a panic for some reason. I'm just plain nervous and anxious and worrying about absolutely anything and everything. I have always had problems with anxiety and menopause just makes it much much worse. :) hang in there, you are definitely not alone!!!
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby Kris » Sun Jul 27, 2008 9:03 pm

I am right there with the both of you chickies............ I too, like you danmia, have had anxiety off and on my entire adult life. It stinks. I guess the turning point for me was when I finally learned several things....... 1. Anxiety is not gonna kill me (Even though it feels like it might) 2. I try to roll with it and not like it overtake me. 3. That if I try real hard to get busy and distract my mind, that I can lessen its effects on me. I know all to well that its easier said than done, when dealing with anxiety. When you are in the throws of it..... it is a beast to be reckoned with! It can zap the life out of a day, faster than anything. Right now, in my life, I have several days a month where it rears its ugly head and yes, it does get the best of me at times. Exercise is another good way to lesson anxiety (but don't we already know that!) I am greatful that I don't have it the way I did in my 20's...... After my father died.... anxiety ruled my life for 5 years. I pray that never happens to me again. But, if it ever does... I will deal. I guess that you just have to see your way through it and know it will pass at some point. It also helps to be able to express it to people who understand and have felt it also. :flower:
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby psexypsychic » Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:19 am

I've never had any anxiety issues in the clinical sense, but since peri-symptoms have started I have days where I can't sit still and I feel all "twitchy". I call them my itchy-twitchy days (as I tend to itch as well). Sometimes, just the feeling of wearing clothes is too much and I can't sit still.

Of course, not sitting still absolutely sucks because I'm also suffering through some pain issues and getting up and moving around just makes me hurt more... so I get restless, can't get up and move around, so I get cranky, and so on and so forth.

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diagnosed perimeno at 36 years old
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby susanj » Mon Jul 28, 2008 10:21 am

I'm with you girls! My nerves are always frayed and I feel jumpy & nervous inside most of the time. I feel overwhelmed by life in general. I'm always running around like a chicken with it's head cut-off, always running, always in a hurry, but never getting anything accomplished! There's so much to do and never enough time to do it all. What are we going to do?
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby kazy68 » Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:12 am

I feel like this too, nervous all the time, why?, what is wrong with me?, i haven't got a clue, my husband got news of a new job last week to start today, but since i new about it i have been on edge all the time, i live in fear of being on my own, don't know why it has never worried me before i used to love being on my own all day, i used to go through the house, do the washing, do the shopping, get all the things done for the next day, but now i hate it now i think, what if i feel ill, what if i have a dizzy spell, what if i get a really bad head and cant get my head of the pillow, today has be OK as my sister has been here for most of it but now she has left i am watching the clock all the time waiting for someone to come home from work, the job is great news my H has been out of work for a few months now and it has been hard, but i have made his life hell by worrying about me, how can i get past the feeling of being on my own i don't want him NOT to work he has to but he nearly turned down this job because of me.

Karen
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby susanj » Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:19 pm

Karen, bless your heart. If it's any comfort to you, I also hate to be alone for any length of time anymore. I think part of the reason for this is my dad passed away in September after a 2-year battle with leukemia and I am still grieving. I can't stand to be by myself because I think & remember too much. Like you, I worry about what might happen and what could happen. I worry about my children, my husband, money, etc. The only comfort I can get is through prayer. I pray and ask God to take this worry away from me, I pray for Him to be in complete control of my life so that I can just let go. That's what He wants all of us to do, let Him be in total control. Try that if you haven't already, and see what happens. I believe that God has wonderful things in store for us, we just need to turn our worries over to Him. "Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest." That's one of my favorite verses. I will pray for you, friend.
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby minniepauz » Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:35 pm

Karen, I don't want to be one of those people who tell you what you should do when I don't experience what you are, but I'm hoping my suggestion will give you something to think about and maybe help.

Since most of the women who say they are feeling like you do used to be strong, capable, efficient women (they don't realize they stil are!), maybe if you took each one of your fears and created a possible solution "just in case" any of it happened, you might feel a little more in control and less fearful. Does that make sense? We all feel better if we have a good supply of candles and batteries if there's a big storm coming our way, right? I know I sit and worry about if the electricity goes off (and I'm usually NOT prepared) and I can't watch tv or use the microwave. So I try to do a few things to be prepared...just in case.

Maybe you could make yourself a well thought out schedule for when your husband is at work, like watching certain shows you like, what hour you will do the laundry, and even have your husband call you every hour to see how you're doing. That would cut the time down that you're worrying into smaller increments and a little easier to deal with. It just might help to schedule yourself very tightly so that you will also have a goal to finish a task in the alloted time. This usually makes time go by faster and if you're doing something you really enjoy, you lose track of time.

Here's a cartoon just for you. :)
Image
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby kazy68 » Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:51 pm

Thanks Dee, i love the cartoon, that most definitely could be my last nerve, thanks for all the suggestions i will certainly put those into practice, it had been one hard day here but i got through it, normally my daughter comes home on a Monday lunchtime from 2pm until 5pm and today of all days she had to work over so the day has been long very long but i did it :) i know it is only one day but this means so much to me, the bad news is that my dear H has to work away some weeks for 3-4 days at a time, not yet but in the next few months, i guess it gives me a few months to get used to it, lets hope by then i will be over all this, well we can all hope cant we.

Karen
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Thanks again Dee i do love the cartoon :D
forgive me now - tomorrow i may no longer feel guilty.
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby Kris » Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:11 pm

Hi Karen!
I remember all too clearly the time in my life when i was feeling much the same as you are feeling. I was afraid to be alone. It seemed that having "someone" around made me feel safe. I have to mimick what dee said.... in the fact that you are a much stronger and more capable woman then you are giving yourself credit for. The anxiety and the uneasiness it creates, makes it difficult to feel you can take care of yourself...... but you can. I also agree, that creating a schedule for yourself, during these alone times will help you in several ways.... first, you will be satisfied and proud that you accomplished the things you wanted to and second, it will help divert your mind and not continually think of how you are feeling at the moment. Try to keep reminding yourself that it will pass. I know how hard that is. I still have a left over anxiety of elevators....... I avoided them for years.... and I mean years!! When my daughter gave birth three weeks ago, I told myself i would ride up to the 7th floor via the elevator. I did with my son-in-law several times. I was very tense, but things were fine. The first time I rode it alone it stopped at the fifth floor and two ladies got off and I was alone. (and scared) The doors shut....... and then NOTHING!! It didn't move... it didn't do anything! I started to feel the panic creep up my throat and I tried to tell myself i needed to stay calm (yea right!) Here i was ... standing there.. trying to figure out what to do... then... I started trying to pry the doors open with my fingers.... to see if i was between floors.... my heart racing.... I could get the doors open about an inch but they keep closing..... after what seemed like an ETERNITY.... the car started moving. It went down to the first floor. This is where i had a decision to make.... GET OFF (is what my mind was screaming) or face it and stay on and go back up. I stayed on and went back up....... it was hard. Really hard. But anxiety is hard. Its hard to stay calm and breathe when you think you are suffocating and getting ready to "flip out" I kinda snicker at the situation now, three weeks later, but was terrifying then. Try to remember that you will get through the difficult moments..... and it nice to know you can always come here and type a letter when you feeling bad. That helps too!! :flower:
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby kazy68 » Mon Jul 28, 2008 5:57 pm

Thanks Kris, since i read the last few posts i have made a to do list for tomorrow, to be honest there is not much on it but i am going to give it a try, my mum is on holiday in sunny Spain at the min so one thing that will not be on the list is my daily visit to my mom's, my list goes as follows

1, 9.00am, take the dogs for a walk (got my mom's dog with us for the week)
2,10.30am, do some house work (not much to do but i must find something)
3,12.00pm, do some dinner for myself (don't normally eat lunch) and Bradley its school holidays
4, 1.00pm, play with Bradley for an hour (either on the play station or out side)
5, 2.30pm, GOT TO go pay those bills (a walk to the town will do us BOTH good)
6, 4.00pm, do every one in this house a cooked meal to come home to(haven't cooked a meal in a LONG time about time i did it again)
7, 7.00pm, enjoy a soak in the tub and tell myself i have had a great day, then enjoy the rest of the evening in my DH company learning all about this new job of his and be extremely happy for him.

Lets just hope this works, at the moment i don't have much faith in myself but i got to start some where, oh boy i am so dreading this, wish me luck everyone, here's to tomorrow, thank you so much for all you help and support i seriously don't know what i would do without you all, i will check in tomorrow evening after my soak in the tub, lol.

Karen
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby kazy68 » Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:02 pm

Sorry Kris, congratulations on becoming a grandmother, how proud you must be, and well done you i COULD NOT put my self in that situation, i am and always have been extremely claustrophobic and can't even lock the bathroom door, to be honest i don't always shut the door, except when i have to, you all know what i mean lol.

Congrats again Kris :cloud9:

Karen
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby Kris » Tue Jul 29, 2008 9:04 am

Thank you Karen! I LOVE being a Grandma! Ellie is such a ray of sunshine and I can't help but smile when we are together! Your list looks great and it looks like you filled your day with good activities to keep you busy. (and got exercise in there to!! Good for you!)
Yes, please keep us posted on your day and keep 'remembering' to STOP underestimating yourself! It will be a great day! remember also, to light a few candles and put on some soothing tunes to go along with your bath....... you deserve it! :flower:
Gosh..... I don't remember when I became clastrophobic, but I've been this way for years. Funny thing is... i am a frequent flyer and I really enjoy it. (Go figure!) I have been confronted with the "dreaded elevator" since that experience and i have to admit I avoided it. Its so weird, what our mind does to us........ I know there is plenty of air on the elevator.... even if it stops. I'm not afraid of it crashing down....... but still I feel like i won't be able to breathe. UGH!!!! So silly and yet it is so real to me! I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with elevators.
Anyways...... have a wonderful day and I know everyone is cheering for you!! :cheer:
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby kazy68 » Tue Jul 29, 2008 2:52 pm

Hi ladies,

Well, my day didn't go as planned, i woke this morning to see DH of to work when i saw my next door neighbour, sadly her husband passed away last night at 12.30, well what can you say, i came in the house and wrote a sympathy card and took it straight round, he was a lovely man aged 76, he had been suffering with leukaemia for the last 12 months and had been in and out of hospital for a while, Sheila, my neighbour was in a really bad way so i sat with her for a while until her family came.

After my visit i came home and did the house work, then myself and my sister went to the cemetery to take my dad some fresh flowers, my mum goes every week and as she is away my sister rang and asked if i wanted to go. We came back to my house and had dinner and chatted for a while, then i did as i said i would and cooked everyone a lovely tea, every one enjoyed it i think my DH thinks i have gone mad lol, the kids looked at me a bit funny as well, they had better get used to it because this is how i want things to be from now on, except for the obvious today has not been to bad, i had a bit of a panic this after noon when my sister left but i pulled myself together and did a few things around the house, phoned my son at work, then phoned DH, wow! my phone bill will be sky high, :D so on the whole not to bad, the bills were put aside until tomorrow so that is one on the list.

Thank you all for your support it is great just to log in here and see all the posts and sometimes be able to help others out.

Thanks ladies

Karen
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Re: Frayed Nerves

Postby ladydebubba » Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:29 pm

Man, I see I am not the only one who worries about everything like this. I worry about my husband losing his job sometime, I am home alone every evening 5 days a week until really late as he is at work. I sit inside this house every minute of the evening. I worry about what disease I will end up with next? Will I have cancer, or die of heart disease? I worry about money, I worry about my husband not taking care of himself. And he doesn't. I have been stressed out since our dog died over a year ago, that had the biggest effect on me. I get irritable from all that is going on with me, the urinary tract infection that is hanging around, the menstrual period that does not want to go away, etc. I could write a book. I do get up and do things but I need to get my fanny on the treadmill. It will relieve some of my stress and tension. I get unnerved at every little weird and different ache and pain thinking the worst.
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